A compassionate guide for navigating one of life's most difficult transitions
Introduction
If you're reading this, you may be in one of the most challenging seasons of your life. Perhaps you've discovered information that shook your faith. Maybe you've been wrestling with doubts for years. Or perhaps you simply feel that something isn't right, even if you can't fully articulate what.
Whatever brought you here, we want you to know: you're not alone, and there is hope.
Leaving the LDS church, or even considering it, is not a simple decision. It's not like changing jobs or moving to a new city. For many, it means questioning everything they've ever known, potentially losing relationships, and rebuilding their entire worldview from the ground up.
This article won't tell you what to decide. That's between you and God. But we want to walk alongside you, offer some practical guidance, and remind you that your worth isn't determined by your church membership.
First, Take a Breath
Before making any major decisions, give yourself permission to slow down. You don't have to figure everything out today. You don't have to announce anything to anyone. You don't have to have all the answers.
What you're experiencing is a form of grief, even if you haven't left yet. You may be grieving:
- The loss of certainty
- The community you thought you had
- The future you imagined
- The version of yourself you used to be
- Relationships that may change
This grief is normal. It's healthy. It means you took your faith seriously. Don't rush through it or try to suppress it.
Common Emotions You Might Experience
Anger
You may feel angry at the church, at leaders, at family members who raised you in the faith, or even at yourself for believing for so long. This anger is valid. You're allowed to feel it. But try not to let it consume you or define your journey.
Fear
Leaving means stepping into the unknown. You may fear:
- What happens after death without temple ordinances
- Losing your family or marriage
- Being judged or shunned by your community
- Not knowing what to believe anymore
These fears are real, but they don't have to control you.
Relief
Some people feel an unexpected sense of relief, like a weight has been lifted. If you feel this, don't feel guilty about it. It may be a sign that you've been carrying a burden you were never meant to carry.
Loneliness
Even if you're surrounded by people, you may feel profoundly alone. Your worldview is shifting, and it can feel like no one understands. This is why finding community, even one or two people who get it, is so important.
Confusion
You may not know what you believe anymore. That's okay. Faith isn't about having all the answers. It's about honest seeking.
Practical Steps to Consider
1. Find Safe People to Talk To
You don't have to process this alone. Look for:
- A trusted friend or family member who won't judge you
- A counselor or therapist (ideally one familiar with religious transitions)
- Support groups for people leaving high-demand religions
- A mentor from a Christian community who understands your background
Be cautious about who you share with initially. Not everyone will respond with compassion. It's okay to be selective about who you trust with your journey.
2. Don't Make Permanent Decisions in Temporary Emotions
When you're in crisis mode, it's tempting to burn everything down: resign your membership immediately, post on social media, confront family members.
While there may be a time for some of these things, try not to make irreversible decisions when you're in the most intense emotional state. Give yourself time to process before taking major actions.
3. Educate Yourself, But Pace Yourself
You may feel a hunger to learn everything: church history, biblical scholarship, other perspectives. This is healthy, but it can also be overwhelming.
Set boundaries for yourself. Maybe limit your research to an hour a day. Take breaks. Balance learning with rest and self-care.
4. Prepare for Relationship Changes
Some relationships will change. This is one of the hardest parts. Some things to consider:
With Believing Family Members:
- They may see your questioning as a personal rejection or failure
- They may try to "rescue" you or bear testimony repeatedly
- They may need time to process their own grief
- Some relationships may become closer; others may become distant
With Your Spouse (if applicable):
- If your spouse is still believing, this requires careful, compassionate navigation
- Consider couples counseling with someone who understands faith transitions
- Focus on your shared values and love, not just your differences
- Be patient, as they may be on their own journey too
With Your Children (if applicable):
- Be age-appropriate in what you share
- Don't put them in the middle between you and a believing spouse
- Model honest questioning and grace
5. Take Care of Your Physical Health
Faith transitions are exhausting: mentally, emotionally, and physically. Don't neglect:
- Sleep
- Exercise
- Nutrition
- Time in nature
- Activities that bring you joy
Your body and mind are connected. Taking care of one helps the other.
What About God?
Here's something important: leaving the LDS church doesn't mean leaving God.
Many people who leave Mormonism find a deeper, richer faith in Jesus Christ. They discover:
- A God whose love isn't conditional on their performance
- A salvation that's secure, not dependent on temple worthiness
- A relationship with Jesus that's personal and direct
- A community of believers who welcome them as they are
You may need time before you're ready to explore faith again. That's okay. God isn't going anywhere. He's patient. He's pursuing you even now.
But when you're ready, we encourage you to:
- Read the Bible with fresh eyes, without the LDS interpretive lens
- Explore what Christians have believed for 2,000 years
- Visit different churches and see how they worship
- Talk to Christians who can answer your questions
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)
Jesus's invitation isn't to a system of works and worthiness. It's to him, to rest, to relationship, to grace.
Common Questions
"What if I'm wrong?"
This fear keeps many people trapped. But consider: you're already asking questions because something doesn't feel right. Ignoring those questions won't make them go away.
The God of the Bible invites honest seeking. He doesn't punish sincere questions.
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13)
"What about my temple sealing? My eternal family?"
This is one of the deepest fears for those leaving. The LDS church teaches that families can only be together forever through temple ordinances.
But the Bible teaches something different: eternal life is a gift received through faith in Jesus Christ, not through ceremonies or ordinances.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16)
Your family relationships matter deeply to God. But your eternal destiny isn't dependent on temple rituals. It's dependent on Jesus.
"How do I tell my family?"
There's no perfect way. Some suggestions:
- Choose a calm, private setting
- Use "I" statements ("I've been struggling with..." rather than "The church is...")
- Express your love for them clearly
- Don't expect them to understand immediately
- Be prepared for a range of reactions
- Consider writing a letter if face-to-face feels too overwhelming
"Should I formally resign my membership?"
This is a personal decision. Some people find closure in formally resigning. Others prefer to simply stop attending without making it official. There's no right answer.
Consider:
- What feels right for your own integrity and peace?
- Are there practical implications (family pressure, etc.)?
- Is this something you need to do now, or can it wait?
"What if I lose everything?"
This is a real fear, and for some, real losses do occur. But here's what we've seen: most people who leave eventually find that what they gain is greater than what they lost.
They gain:
- Authenticity and integrity
- Freedom from constant performance anxiety
- Deeper relationships built on honesty
- A faith (for those who find it) that's truly their own
- Peace that doesn't depend on checking boxes
You Are Not Your Church Membership
One of the most damaging aspects of high-demand religions is how they tie your identity to your membership. You may have been taught that your worth comes from your callings, your temple recommend, your obedience.
This is not true.
Your worth comes from being created in God's image. You are loved not because of what you do, but because of who you are. Nothing you do, or fail to do, can change that.
"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" (1 John 3:1)
You are a beloved child of God. Not because you earned it. Not because you're worthy. Because he chose to love you.
Finding Community
One of the hardest parts of leaving is losing your community. The LDS church provides a built-in social network: instant friends wherever you move, activities every week, a sense of belonging.
When you leave, you have to rebuild that intentionally. Some options:
Christian Churches: Many evangelical churches would welcome you warmly. Look for ones that:
- Preach from the Bible
- Emphasize grace over works
- Have small groups where you can build relationships
- Are patient with your questions and doubts
Support Groups: Organizations and online communities exist specifically for people leaving Mormonism. These can be invaluable for processing your experience with people who understand.
Counseling: A good therapist can help you navigate the emotional complexity of a faith transition.
New Friendships: Be intentional about building relationships outside the LDS community. Join clubs, volunteer, take classes, and put yourself in situations where you can meet new people.
A Word of Hope
If you're in the middle of this journey, it may feel like everything is falling apart. But here's what we've seen again and again: on the other side of this pain, there is life.
People who have walked this path before you have found:
- A faith that's deeper and more personal than what they had before
- Relationships that are more authentic
- Freedom they didn't know was possible
- A God who is bigger, more gracious, and more loving than they imagined
This isn't the end of your story. It might be the beginning of the truest chapter yet.
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Questions to Reflect On
- What emotions are you experiencing most strongly right now? Can you name them without judgment?
- Who is one safe person you could talk to about what you're going through?
- What do you need most in this season: information, support, rest, or something else?
- What are you most afraid of? What would it mean to face that fear?
- What do you hope to find on the other side of this journey?
We're Here for You
You don't have to walk this road alone. If you'd like to talk with someone who understands, someone who won't judge you, pressure you, or try to rush you, we're here.
Whether you're just starting to question, actively transitioning, or trying to rebuild on the other side, we'd be honored to walk alongside you. Use the "Talk to Someone" button below to connect with us.
Resources
Support:
- Reach out to us through our Connect page
- Consider finding a therapist who specializes in religious transitions
- Look for local support groups or online communities
For Understanding Christianity:
- Start by reading the Gospel of John
- Explore our other articles on grace and who Jesus is
Remember: You are loved. You are not alone. And there is hope.